I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
