A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Tell her she can't have a vagina
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
