Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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