Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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