Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
