Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
