I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
