No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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