put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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