I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
