so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
