what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you made out with another girl for some wings
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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