am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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