I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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