her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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