I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
