i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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