Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is wine microwaveable?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
