real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
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