I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
