I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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