k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do vagina's smell?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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