Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
