I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
