You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
