Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
