So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
