it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
