I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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