we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
