Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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