I could have mohawked her pubes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
