no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
