I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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