His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
