If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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