U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
