just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
