i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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