how can u be prego again
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
