i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
