just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
