you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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