He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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