i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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