You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
