She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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