it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
