Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
