I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
