About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Vodka?
Forever.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
